Nestle Candy is racist. Or trying not to be. Doesn't matter which, really. The point is, they throw in the token black candy in the Halloween mix. And I ask, WHY do we have a token black candy? No one likes the Baby Ruth. The Twix - cookies. Everyone loves cookies and chocolate. The Snickers, the Three Musketeers (a definite European genre there...), the Milky Way (a peanutless version of the Snickers) and even the "Milky Way Midnight", which is just really some marshmallow thing... but yes someone you know will eat any number of these. But there, at the back of the bowl lies the Baby Ruth. Finally, in desperation, when all other candies are exhausted, someone reaches in with a distasteful countenance, and pulls out a Baby Ruth.
The ensuing conversation is somewhat comedic. "Hey, have you ever had a Baby Ruth?" Well HAVE YOU? At this thought, you either cringe with horrific memories of one of the worse tasting chocolate bars ever to cross a production line, or you pleasantly reply "I don't recall," because you are practicing memory suppression (or just playing a cruel joke on the poor bloke about to bite into that turd looking mini candy).
At least the Mexican candies are you know, MEXICAN. They don't purposely make the shittiest chocolate and give it a Mexican name. You know the Cesar Chavez. Ewww. No one would EVER belittle the champion of laborers. "The Bambino" is another story. Yeah, you'll eat a Pay Day, a similar candy, minus the chocolate (and that nougatty fudgy stuff). You could say it's the white version of a Baby Ruth. No one blames you good fellow; the Pay Day tastes pretty damn good.
The kicker? Poor old Babe Ruth got gypped out of all the royalties for this ass tasting candy bar.
I say stop throwing in the token black candy. Seriously, do we need to have PC Halloween candy too? Write your congressmen today. Or The Onion.
